Top Five things I'm grateful for in my divorce

Divorce is such a difficult situation to find one's self in, many people around the world are even questioning the logic behind marriage itself. Mine was rough, but frankly, I'm one of the lucky ones. Men and women both – all too often – make stupid choices in response to the trauma of a failed marriage, from which they sometimes never recover.

But not me. I'm actually grateful for a few of the lessons learned from the experience. Admittedly, at first, this list might've been things like “I've eaten today,” “The sun is shining,” and stuff like that. But adversity brings growth, and there are some excellent parts of life which I share here today. What are your top five things to be grateful for, in your divorce?

1. The kids are okay. This rightfully deserves a place as my number one thing to be grateful for. In the long run, it's really all that has ever mattered. In fact, not only are they just “okay,” they're better off than when I was a kid. The little ones are also safe, too. With all the wuss, cowardly, chickenshit qualities of my ex's “Elmer,” at least there's no evidence of him being a pedo or anything. If he were, I'd already be prison-bound. But it seems there are no worries there.

Might I also add that, even with my ex's relentless efforts at parental alienation, I'm their father. We're linked genetically, and that, my friend, is something which God® himself could not change, and the single, greatest privilege of my life. She can try lying to herself all she likes, but it's one thing she has no control over.

2. I found real love. In fact, most women are not mysandrists, in spite of the gum-slapping, militant feministas who seem to dominate the airwaves and Internet. Yup, in the old life, both my ex and I felt “stuck” in constant battles, for a variety of reasons. It's not that way for me and my new gal. Out of the billions of people on this planet, I met the right one. I'm so damn lucky.

3. I've grown stronger After I was thrown out of a very unhealthy marriage, I felt devastated. Fellow divorcees know what I mean, too. Never in my wildest dreams, did I ever see myself getting off of my mental knees. But it happened. A 10-horsepower motor, given a 12-horsepower job will burn out. But, give a 10-horsepower person a 12-horsepower job, and they become a 12-horsepower person. A hat-tip to Tony Robbins for that message.

4. I'm free! Gone are the incessant demands of her ignorant, naïve, ridiculous “friends” (the good friends are great) who “thought" their business was everyone's lives but their own. Gone are those vicious, hateful, mean-spirited, authoritarian sister and mother of hers too. (I still miss my ex-brother and father-in-law, though, even if they hate me)

Let me share a little story of how vicious these two are. One day, my oldest daughter spoke her first word: Grandma! As the woman walked into the house, I told her my daughter's first word (Her first granddaughter, mind you) and she growled! Yes! She GROWLED! WhiskeyTango Foxtrot, right? What kind of mean-ass heart does it take to respond with an angry growl, to your first grandchild saying “Grandma” as her very first spoken word? Her sister's just as f'ing mean, too. Don't know what I ever did to her, but she lashes out at anything that's not Disney Prince Perfect about a guy.

And LOL Out-Loud I'm free of that bullshit. Ha!

5. I'm alive. This might not seem like much to the average yay-hoo on the street (then again, it just might for all I know), but for years I felt as if I was on the brink of suicide. I'd lost my marriage, business, job, and children. I found myself tempted to do something irrevocably horrible to my ex's “boyfriend.” (They met while was still married to me and I've since owned up to all the reasons I drove her to him so lay off all you ridiculous armchair therapists.) But, fortunately, I had the presence of mind to physically remove myself from that temptation.

Every single day, for years, I woke up to the first thought in my head being, “I need to die.” I've since come to learn what I was meaning to tell myself was, “I need to improve.” And I have. It is so clear now, just how precious life is, and how scarce time is. No point wasting it looking back on the past. Besides, my suicide is one more thing I get to deny her vicious heart (and those of her mean ass mom and sister) the satisfaction of having. The best revenge is, after all, to live well.

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